Me now

Spring is coming. I can feel it in the air in spite of today's snowfall. Snowdrops are popping out from the ground and unfortunately found first tick too.
Spring is coming. It is like another new beginning,  another fresh start. Winter gave me time. It was time to rediscover myself as a person, gave me time to find the place in myself where I am now and not to be scared to look there but to enter it with joy and acceptance. Being a mother is still processing in me. It is like a puzzle which pieces finally start to come together one by one, slowly creating a whole picture. This picture is me. Being a mother is like living on different planet (thank you Lisa for describing it so well). Planet which I have never lived before. It takes time to understand it, to get through it without resentments of not having time, of loosing yourself for a little while at the beginning.It takes time to feel good in mothers skin.  and Yes mothers gain so much, they gain so much love that there are no words to describe it. I have been reading, following some blogs, came back to yoga and painting a little too. Painting is different now, there is no rush, no aim, just creating, giving myself time to do a little at the time.
Today I was looking at my son, still little toddler. I was thinking that one day he will become a man, a grown up man. It is so good to see him so happy every day, curious, adventurous and always in the present moment. I was thinking what my parents must have thought about me at this age. Did they see it too? That joy of being here and now, that endless love, being grateful for this little, big person in our lives and did they wonder too about me as a little girl who one day would have become a woman and mother?
It is true that we are created to love.