Another deer and another year

Hello gorgeous souls. I hope you all had a beautiful and magical Christmas. It is so nice to have time to relax, see our loved ones, sleep a bit longer than usual, go for walks, to read and create. I have started to summarize and release 2013 to clear the pathway for new miracles to come. I have been working with Leonie Dawson's workbook which I highly recommend. I have revisited myself during these last twelve months which brought many beautiful and challenging lessons for me. I am learning to forgive myself and others. I have been practicing to be less critical and judgmental.  I have painted over 50 paintings which make me incredibly happy and grateful. I opened my Etsy shop and had my first sale! Scott and I had holidays together for the first time in a long long while. I know myself more now because I can distance myself from the past and see myself then and now which makes me able to forgive and accept. I was completely transformed this year by love, by my art journey and the magical moments with children. I managed to let go of fear and resentment. 2013 led me to paint, trust and believe in myself and my life process. I am proud of myself and grateful for my paintings, my life, us and our home.
I painted another deer recently. There are such beautiful creatures, full of wisdom and grace. I also took some photos during a lovely wander with Scott around Duddingston loch.

To my deer

photo taken by Scott Spalding

photo taken by Scott Spalding

'Be brave
be a visionary
choose radiance
embrace possibility
cultivate magic
practice Love' (thank you Leonie)
Happy and beautiful 2014 to you all.

Christmas

Christmas time has many meanings for us. It can be a joyful merry and happy time during the year, or sad and stressful, sometimes both. My Christmas is a mixture of the past, present and future. It is the time when another year is nearly finished and naturally I start to think about the last 12 months and make plans and goals for the year to come. I often go back to Christmas memories from my childhood. When my brother and I were waiting for the first star in the night sky on Christmas Eve signalling the beginning of Christmas for us, when we were giving each other blessings and greetings before we sat around the Christmas dinner. When we were decorating the Christmas tree, our decorations being kept every year in a very, very old suitcase which was a magical item for me at that time. When I believed that all animals spoke in a human voice on the night of  Christmas Eve.
My Christmas started suddenly and silently at the beginning of December. I started by making Christmas cards and listening to Christmas carols. I decorated our small Christmas tree and I felt so relaxed and cheerful regardless of the rain and wind outside.  I have become a part of the wintery scenery in the city.
I also think that during the Christmas period we try sometimes more than ever to be happier and make other people happy. Our heart expands with love. 'Christmas is a bridge. We need bridges as the river of time flows past' Gladys Taber tells us. Today's Christmas should mean creating happy hours for tomorrow and relieving those of yesterday.' 'Creating happy hours' how beautiful and inspiring that sounds. Christmas is the time of celebrating, for sharing love happiness and sending blessings to each other.That is why I really wanted to publish this post on time before Christmas. This post and especially my latest work I painted for all those who I will not be able to reach personally or by post. My latest painting is for all of you. Wishing you a very happy and Merry Christmas.

'My Deer'

5 minutes

Hello beautiful souls. I hope you all are well. It has been an extremely busy time for me over the last few weeks. I have been busy but many wonderful things have happened too. Sometimes however, it was difficult to find the balance between being occupied too much and taking time to rest. Being focused and aware of the little moments of beauty and happiness helped me to get through the feeling of being overwhelmed. Those little moments when I was walking home surrounded by Christmas lights and decorations on the streets made dark and cold evenings so charming and beautiful, especially in the city. When I went for walks even small ones, when I could admire squirrels every morning through our kitchen window or when Scott was making cranberry sauce.  The first time this year, it was snowing a few days ago. Even if it was only snowing for 5 minutes it was a truly beautiful and magical time. The snow came so unexpectedly, softly and quietly. My whole world had been remade in those 5 minutes of magic. All my tiredness and stress disappeared. It is amazing how those little moments can change us and make us feel better, happier and grateful. I believe that life is about those moments and capturing them to be inspire our spirits. Life is beautiful! I also tried to nourish my spirit with creating whenever I had the time available. I was playing with watercolours and have started to make Christmas cards for my loved ones (I have made 13 so far!).

Then suddenly December arrived and it is only 2 weeks before Christmas. I am very much looking forward to the Christmas break.
Winter and trees have become my latest inspirations. I wanted to express them in my painting which I called 'The winter is back'. There is some kind of beauty in winter trees. Maybe it is the hibernation state or perhaps it is winter silence full of whispers,  resting, dreaming and sleeping noises.

'Winter is back' (oil painting)

Also I am getting ready for my first exhibition. I am going to present some of my works in the Engine Shed Cafe in Edinburgh. I am so excited and a bit scared at the same time but looking forward to it.
Sending you all the warmest thoughts of love. 

Moon

Hello gorgeous souls. November has been a very busy month for me but has also brought so many beautiful inspirations and events. Also it has been a year since I started to write my blog. It has been a great year. I met  many beautiful, creative, wise and inspiring souls through blogging. Keeping the blog updated encouraged me to be creative and made me aware of so many beautiful aspects of life. Writing posts for this blog has been a great way to slow down and look more into my inner self which helped me a lot to be more aware and connected with myself. Also the possibility of sharing  my world with others built up my confidence and helped me to understand that we have all got so many beautiful gifts and talents to share and it is so important to support each other, to discover and develop those gifts. Thank you all for being with me and cherishing and nourishing my heart throughout the last year.

Cold and frosty November nights with a full moon inspired me to come back to watercolours and also paint moon pictures. We all know that there is something magical about the moon.
Mystery of space and universe, silence, unseen power, energy and cycles.

The moon

November sky

November

Trees tell stories. They whisper when wind touches them delicately. Nature heels and inspires. Beautiful and cold November.

Her portrait

Hello beautiful souls. It is getting colder and colder in Scotland. Evening and nights seems to be endless and filled with blankets and candles light. I have finished my third portrait of my friend Domi. All of those portraits brought different thoughts and feelings. The last one is about those moments when we do not know which direction to take. It is also about uncertainty and waiting, about being lost and wishing to be found again, about taking time away to think and understand more, about those days when unexpectedly sorrow comes and goes, about life and its cycles. The most important is about my dear friend who represents all aspects of women nature. She is beautiful, delicate and graceful. She loves to laugh and she loves to love and be loved. She is strong and dreams about walks in the forest. Sometimes like everyone she feels lost but always finds her way back to happiness.

Thank you Domi (my Murakamia sister) and Thank you Marcin for beautiful photographs which inspired me to paint last three portraits.

Getting ready

I have just started to work on new portrait. Sketch is finished. I am getting pastels ready and setting up the music. My new painting journey slowly begins.

Domi

Cold and windy days have arrived and gets darker sooner. Autumn slowly turns into winter. I have been painting monochromatic portraits of my friend Domi for last two weeks. Painting portraits of Domi brought to me lots of thoughts and feelings about femininity. It is so important and precious for me to be a woman. Also it is very beneficial to be surrounded in every day life by wise and inspiring women. Femininity is an inner power of women. It occurs in their sensuality, sexuality, wisdom, creativity and sensitivity. Sometimes women forget how to access their inner power, their 'eternal source of Mystery that is their strength' as Sarah Ban Breathnath describes. Sometimes they do not even realize how powerful and magical they are. Women need to remember that femininity is always with them. We all have got such a big capacity to love ourselves and others. Being in touch with our feminine nature is an act of love.


The blessing of being
Be the power of fire, be magical
Be the power of water, be beatiful
Be the power of earth, be who you are
Be the power of air, be all you wish to be

Time away

It is definitely true that time heals. My friend visited me last week. We have not seen each other for over a year. Despite the distance between us (Domi lives in Poland) I found our friendship exactly the same, like we have not changed at all. But we have. We have both experienced so much in the past year and are in different moments in our lives. We can still trust, be open towards each other and laugh, laugh, laugh as much as we used to. I love to laugh with her. I needed her company so much. She appeared in the most appropriate moment. After catching up with Domi in Edinburgh, I went to visit my parents in Poland. It was so good to spend time with them. It was also good to distance myself from my worries, to go away, to spend time with people who I love and miss so much. It is good to feel loved by them too. It inspired me. I captured beautiful images of people and autumn in my heart and it nourished my soul. Also I would never thought that strawberries could taste so sweet in October (thank you Scott). I am back in Edinburgh now. I am rediscovering familiar spaces, the smell of the air and the peace inside and around me. I am ready  again.

Photographs from Poland

Sign me

There are ups and downs in our lives. There is also time when we make mistakes. The same mistakes  we have made and regretted in the past so much, hoping that finally we would learn from them. However, sometimes things and circumstances turn out differently than we would expect. We feel tired and a bit scared, stuck and blocked that we make the same mistakes again. Then sorrow and guilt come and we are facing the most difficult of consequences. We are trying to release ourselves from our inner pain. We want to forgive ourselves and let go but we do not know how. This is how I have been feeling recently. I have felt a little lost and distant from myself.

I decided to take some time to find my happiness again.

Sign me

I would like to thank you for all your beautiful comments. Thank you for sharing your autumn thoughts with me. Your words make my autumn posts fully complete.

My autumn

My autumn, this year is full of rusty colours and light, walks, cosy evenings under blanket and in front of the fire, books and movies which now I have time to read and see. My autumn this year is a journey to the memories. It is also time of giving myself space to be with myself, to find what I lost during busy summer. It is time when nature slows down and gets itself ready to rest for months in the winter. It is time when beauty transforms from youth to maturity.
I would like to share my micro autumn captured in photographs with you. I hope you enjoy it and fall in love with this beautiful season just like I did.

Meanwhile

Meanwhile autumn has come for good. Summer is gone till next year. People on the streets are wrapped up in cozy and warm clothes. Rainy days have arrived too. But it is so beautiful around. Autumn is so inspiring. I have started to knit mittens. Knitting is a great way to relax. I also painted my portrait based on the photograph from childhood. Autumn is definitely a journey to my memories. It is nice to sometimes take a  trip to the past and see what there is. This process of painting helped me to come back to childhood moments. I am also reading a great book, written by Jean Liedloff. 'The continuum concept' presents the early years from such a different perspective which mostly places an impact on the natural and practiced approach to parenting by our ancient relatives. It is a great book which helps me to understand myself a bit more and my work as well. I hope that autumn is kind and inspiring for you too. I took a lovely stroll with Scott and his friend Matthew last weekend. We were all fulfilled by magic and beauty of the season and we all set up ourselves to create: stunning photographs taken by Matt (please have a look) and beautiful music composed by Scott (please, listen) and I could carry on with my painting. However there also days when I do not have much energy, feel tired or overwhelmed but then another day comes and strength comes back naturally. My last Sunday morning was a moment when I woke up refreshed and ready to start again, step by step. When nature helped me to heal and relax. I spent that morning in the kitchen, catching up with Lisa's blog (she is my friend but also a great writer and artist) and admiring sun light coming through the bushes and tress. All those create spectacular beauty and atmosphere which nurture a tired soul.
I wish you all, lots of magical and inspiring moments this autumn.

Wind of memories

Hey beautiful souls. I hope you enjoy beginnings of autumn, those  who live in the northern hemisphere. It became slightly colder, air is clearer, evenings are getting longer and longer and leaves are falling down. I love autumn! It is full of melancholy and nostalgia. Probably that is why I have been thinking about past so much recently. There are lots of memories which come and go, just like a wind. Memories from childhood, memories of my family and home. Autumn walks in the park when I was in the nursery, picking up leaves and chestnuts, my mum making pickles, my dad's smile, Christmas at grandparents house, joy after listening good music or reading a brilliant book, my old friends, places which I have been, playing outdoors when I was little, whispering a prayer before a sleep, favorite teddy which I put into bin because I decided to be grown up and I regret it so much now, my first cat and many, many more.Sometimes I am scared that I will not remember all those good and magical moments which have happened already. Painting definitely helps me to remember. Memories are very inspiring for me. My latest painting is a portrait of Scott. Scott surrounded by joy and coziness with his heart full of love and kindness. One memory of many saved on the canvas.
Love and blessings to you all.

Kicior

Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to introduce you to Kicior. My big, charmful and dearest friend. He is  full of infinite wisdom and unconditional love. Scott and I love him very much and we are so grateful to share our time with him. Kicior has been with us for over 3 years now. He jumped through our window one day and after visits spanning months, he decided to stay with us. We fell in love with him straight away and he bonded with us as well. Kicior is 5 now. He loves being fed, playing outside and snuggling into blankets. I always wanted to paint his portrait and finally I did. It is my first animal portrait and I am so glad that it was him. Kicior has been a great inspiration for Scott as well. He wrote a beautiful song about him (please, listen here) and included him in his music videos (here and here). He is a great companion in our creativity process.

Kicior

An

I developed a black and white camera film few weeks ago. All photos on that film were taken over a year ago. Most of them are portraits of my friend An. An is a beautiful and wise woman and great friend. She has moved back to Poland last year. We are still in touch but like with most of my friends and family there is a physical distance between us. I do miss her very much. An was an inspiration to do portraits based on photos of her. When I was painting them I even felt much closer to An. Also these portraits present my feelings in some way as well. They are about beginnings and changes in the woman's life. First one is a portrait of An at the beginning of her pregnancy. Second one symbolises a woman just before taking new direction in her life. How often we have to leave something behind to start again because we feel that it is the best and right for us and we need it.
Autumn is coming....

Dreamy paintings

Welcome! I have just finished re potting plants in the garden and I feel so restful after it. Now I understand what Anne feels when she looks after beauties in her garden. It is such a relaxing and meditative activity. Alicia described  one of my paintings as a 'dreamy' few weeks ago in the comments section (thank you Alicia). The more I thought about it the more I knew and felt that dreamy is the best description for my art. 'Dreamy paintings'. This is exactly what I feel when I paint. That state of mind and spirit and connection between taking or transforming inner into outer. Painting for me is like dreaming. I tried to presents my 'dreaming state' in my two the latest portraits. Every painting tells different story, different dream. Also I always try to leave a bit of feminine energy in my women portraits. I believe that it is a beautiful energy of heart, love, strength, wisdom and natural beauty. I came back to painting in acrylics again. Perhaps watercolour summer is nearly gone and I am setting up for autumn.
Much love to you all beautiful souls.

Mo