Touch

Hello everyone. We have got another the end and another beginning today. A new and old are going to meet again. Past and future are going to meet up in today and maybe even celebrate for a short while together. They are going for a short moment at midnight to touch each other. I did the one of my recent paintings and I called it 'Touch'. It was a challenge for me to paint it and it is not perfect but I am happy with it. The original idea was and purpose of this painting was to focus on the need of touch and the fear of touching. How often you experience the need to touch somebody but you were to scared, to much hurt and not ready? How often we experience situations of need of touch between two people and because they are afraid to express their feeling nothing happens. There is only a silent magic between them. My painting is about two people who are close together but both are in emotional pain and both would like to give and receive a bit of touch but they are too scared to give and receive. I was inspired by the movie which I mentioned before in my blog 'The loneliest planet'. Also I understood or realised how important is touch in our life. A physical touch, an emotional touch, a spiritual touch , a sensual touch. The endless process of giving and receiving.
I wish you lots of touch with love in 2013 !!! Love and blessings to you all !!!

Touch

Dreams and Hopes

Dreams and hopes. I finished summarising my 2012, yesterday. I have been posting my little recaps since the beginning of this week.  I have to admit that it was a little challenging for me and I had been hesitating a bit before I decided to do it. The reason of my hesitations was fear of opening myself a bit more than usual,  in a bit more personal way of writing I suppose as well. It was a challenge for me to do it but I am so glad (still a bit shy about it) that I did it. I realised during writing my daily recaps that it was a big year for me and... I am proud and happy with myself now. Also I hope that maybe my little 'confession' helps some of you to be a bit more open too or to do a little personal recap (and not necessarily through your blog). I think and I hope I got my lesson from 2o12. I understood how important and difficult sometimes is to take risks, make choices and decisions and to trust at the same time that yes, everything will be okay because I stand up for myself, because I love and respect myself more now. I had comfortable life but I have not been truly happy for long time and I am so glad because of my accident. I look at whole situation today that it was really a gift for me. The best lesson which I could get at that time to wake myself up. I could see my life and life in general from different but much better for me, perspective.
Dreams and hopes for New Year and for the future. To be happy, healthy and creative. Love and blessings to you all.

Poppy

I did this painting a few days ago and I did not know what tittle I could give to it. But now I know and I know because of my friend Beth who is expecting a baby. When we talk about her baby I call it usually Poppy. When I looked at my painting after seeing Beth I knew that I would call it 'Poppy'. It is my vision of our young and happy 'Poppy'.

October, November, December (recap)

Hello everyone. I hope you are well. I would like to share with you a last part of my 2012 recap.
 October- We spent  few days in Glencoe. It was magical, full of love and very creative time for both of us (you can listen to music from our journey here ).  Thank you for sharing it with me, Scott.

November- One of my best friends left Edinburgh (I do miss you so much An). I started blogging!!!

An

December- Scott played a beautiful concert at the Forest Cafe. And...I am happy, I love, I create and I am loved.

July, August, September (recap)

July- It was a big lesson for me to accept my new me, me with scars, me and my arm.
August- I had beautiful time and enjoyed summer so much. I was creating every day, meditating in the garden, keeping myself happy and positive. I started to participate in drawing group again and I met there a wonderful and extremely talented person who helped me to fall in love with Edinburgh again. Thank you Lisa. I also decided to quit my job. I did not want to put my health in risk and I was sure that I would like to have more time in my life for myself and people who I love. I went to see my family and friends in Poland. I discovered beautiful music of Mela Koteluk. Thank you Murakamia sister.
September- I have started new job.  I and Scott reached a critical point in our relationship but also it was a new beginning of positive changes for us.

April, May, June (recap)

I hope you all are having nice Christmas. My love and blessings to you.
Time to carry on with my recap of 2012.
April, May, June-  All those months seemed to be like a dream, like an inner journey. I experienced lots of pain, lots of lack of hope and I was very scared. I felt so powerless. My relationship with Scott started to break as well into thousand little pieces. It took us lots of time and effort to put all pieces of our love back together. I realised that I have to help and heal myself. I understood that my accident did not happen without a reason. It happened to change and heal my life. I started to read spiritual books again, meditate every day. I tried to keep positive, forgive myself and others and give myself lots and lots of love. I used art to heal my arm. I could not use my left hand ( I am left handed), so I was doing pictures by using my other hand. And...thing started to change...for better Thank you my mum and Beth for all your support.

January, February, March (recap)

It is the last week of 2012 and after Friday's the end of the world,  I feel that it is also the best time to summarise last 12 months. It has been definitely tough but extremely beautiful and creative year for me.
I would like to share (I will be delighted to do it with you) My moments of 2012. I will write and present the most important experiences and works which have occurred in 2012. I start with 3 first months of nearly past year.
January, February- I have met a beautiful soul, a teacher, a goddess, a spiritual  and wild sister. I met Beth. I am so grateful for our friendship. She appeared in my life when I most needed her. We shared together moments of laughter and sadness, understanding, love and unconditional support. Thank you Beth.
March- I had lovely birthday. It was such a spontaneous day. We spent it together. We went for a wander and got lost with love to each other. Thank you for that magical day Scott.
Then big moment happened. A break. Literally a break, a fracture. A double fracture. My life has changed from that moment completely. Dark clouds and sadness came. I had a surgery and after that I started a recovery and healing process. It was magical, inspiring and painful time for me.

My Angel

New Day

Hello, is anybody out there? I think that no matter what we thought about yesterday as the end of the world, we definitely thought something, I did. I was a bit concerned and curious about it. I could admit nothing happened but actually I had nice day and how I felt made me think that I really want to carry on with positive thinking and it could be my new start...again. I also read  today a post which Dov put on his blog and he wrote beautifully 'See you at the other side of the (yet another) end of the world'. I believe that lots depend on us at other side of the end of the world. Today, tomorrow and day after tomorrow depends not completely but mainly on us, on our thoughts we think and the words we speak. We create... our future every moment and every day.
I wrote this in my art journal yesterday: ' Rain, rain and more rain. I decided to go for my artist date after spending days at home. I chose Botanics Gardens. My friend told me that Botanics has saved her life so many times  already. So I thought it must be good place for the end of the world. My soul needed it. During my walk I felt just fine and happy with myself and everything around me. Truly happy. I am sitting in Botanics Cafe now. It is still raining outside, but I had lovely and peaceful walk in the rain. A green and jasmine tea is warming me up. I discovered Chinese garden, which I have never seen here before '. Enjoy your day.

The Meanings

Hello everyone. I hope you all are well.  It is very cold, rainy and windy in Edinburgh today. I  found new inspiration which probably is partly caused by the weather conditions. I have started to paint women with blowing hair in the wind. I really enjoy it. My partner was having a look yesterday at  'about me' section in my blog and he made a comment that everything in my blog has to have a  meaning. So I answered  him back: 'what is the point to do things if they do not have a  meaning'. I believe that everything means something. Everything is done by us with certain, big or small but still certain intention. An intention is a meaning for me. I do not want to write or put in my blog whatever stuff, I want  to share and I hope I do with my heart, my thoughts and feelings with people.
Today I would like to present my 'Wintery Me'. I put lots of meanings in this paintings. 'Wintery Me' is a collection of my thoughts and experiences which happened and appeared before and during making it. It was definitely beautiful time and pleasure to paint it. I was listening during my painting journey wonderful voice of Lisa Gerrard and also Archive music. The tree on my picture represents a shadow of  a tree which I see every night on my bedroom window. It is a beautiful and magical shadow. I  am pleased that I could transform this shadow into my picture. There is also lots of  little hopes and disappointments in it, dreams which have never come true yet. There is life and death aspect in it too. Oh well, it is 'Wintery Me' after all.

Wintery Me

 I watched 'The Loneliest Planet' few weeks ago. It is  an amazing movie, which I highly recommend. The main woman character inspired me to paint a portrait partly of her and partly of what she represented in the movie. So it is  the portrait of a woman who is naturally beautiful  and has inner strength, who craves for love and freedom. I hope you enjoy it. Have a wonderful weekend and very Happy PPF!

Little Things, Little Moments

It has been like nothing major happened but also  it has been such an inspiring time for me over last few days. Maybe, sometimes little things, little moments fill up our time with the most in happiness and good energy. I have started to paint again. Yes, I am back into the process which never really stops. Creating seems to be so equal to breathing process. So I have started at the beginning of last week I think when little thought attracted long enough my attention and heart at the same time. That little thought, idea, seed was waiting and patiently growing in me and I tried as much as I could to give this idea time to grow and expand. I tried as much as I could to be...patient. I did first sketch on last Friday and continued to transform my thought on the paper. Then a whole process of manual creation began and it is still not finished. I will describe it  more in my next post, when probably my 'winter picture', 'my winter me' will be ready. Today I would like to introduce you to my 'autumn picture', 'my autumn me', which I did few months ago, when I was completely in love with autumn and colours and leaves and smell of it. A 'winter picture' is a continuum of my journey through seasons and it is also a proof that there is no end, everything flows, everything begins and ends and begins again. The endless circle of life and death. Have a beautiful week.

My Autumn Me

Traces

It is slightly and very delicately snowing in Edinburgh now. We put up our Christmas tree. It is our fourth Christmas tree together. I have not done much art this week but I have had definitely creative week so far. It has been creative week in thoughts and little discoveries and also I was organising my creative space. I was sorting my works and having look through my very, very first drawings. The more I was looking at them the more peaceful I felt with myself. Sometimes I am very critical to myself and to my art as well but when I was looking at my drawings I understood that honestly it does not matter so much are they good or bad because THEY ARE PART OF Me. They all are like a big map of my experiences and memories. They all are little traces of my moods and thoughts and even of places where I used to live. They all live in that precise moment of time when I was creating them. That part of me which I left on the paper is still there and always will be. I am so happy that I can create such memories. My last painting is based on photograph which I took few weeks ago. I wanted and needed to paint that memory. A memory of beginning of our little, daily celebrations and gratitudes,  beginning of winter time, us, our love and  my love. Happy PPF!!!!

Traces

Delicate and small

 Closer and closer to the end of the year. Another weekend is gone.  It was a weekend full of different experiences and emotions. I experienced being totally upset and happy, calm and scared. I found time to paint and I enjoyed it so much. My partner baked the yummiest bread ever and created beautiful music which makes me very calm and relaxed whenever I listen to  it (you can watch the beautiful video and listen here) . Also I realised after writing my last post that there are few times 'between' in my life now. It is time between seasons, time between then and now, time between old and new and time between being far and close together. I always will be somewhere between. I did my last painting quickly last evening I rushed a bit but I really wanted to finish it somehow and put all my emotions and thoughts through into it. It is about something which is delicate and small but strong and resistant at the same time. Maybe it is about me now...

Between

The more I read and look at other blogs about celebrating time, the more calm and relaxed I become. This Christmas and winter is a bit different compared to previous years. I do not rush. Celebration time comes slowly, with its own pace. I am taking my time to feel, smell, touch and enjoy. It is still a time between the beautiful and endless autumn in my heart and the beginning of winter. This is what my last painting is about. It is moment between. A moment between autumn and winter. That invisible gap where I am just in the middle with myself. I am ready to start, to begin to celebrate with joy and peace in my heart.
I am so touched by how many positive thoughts and messages people put in to words or images in their blogs every day. I am so touched by how much we try to heal the world with our love. Every day. Thank you.

Between

Celebrations

I would like to write and share so much that I do not know even where to start and where to begin. I had a quite busy but very nice and creative weekend.  First of all, I have started my new painting on my new and very first easel.  It was a very early Christmas present from my sweetheart. I enjoyed my art time today so much. I relaxed and gathered my thoughts and ideas about December theme which is 'Celebrate'.  I cannot wait to continue tomorrow. I asked myself today what celebration means to me and so far I discovered that celebration means to me to appreciate life, capture moments of happiness, be aware of present and to be grateful. To be grateful every day. I believe every day brings us lots of reasons and experiences to be grateful for. Last weekend was a weekend of few celebrations. I went for artist date to Scottish National of Portraits to see BP Portrait Award 2012. My partner played amazing and beautiful concert at The Forest Cafe which you can view here. Also we went together for first winter walk. I would like to post some photos from this walk. Little, winter moments of celebration captured spontaneously in the camera. Happy week everyone.